Spirited Chatter Gifts

"After so many years of marriage what are you getting for your anniversary?"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

Mums coffee morning

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

Heart To Heart

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

'...the next train arriving at platform one is the 10.45 fast service to orgasm central!'

Chris Evans

'What's that supposed to mean!?!'

'The reason I never finish my homework is that I spend too much time tweeting about how I have too much homework.'

'Why don't you come to my birthday party? It'll be a great place for networking...'

Online Dating

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

'Whoa, Buddy, I think you've had enough...'

'The bar's famous for its high spirits.'

'Referring to God as 'she' seems to offend all the right people.' (religious people discussing religion)

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'

"No, I've never been to the Hamptons, but I have been in hellish traffic."

I need advice and if you ever tall anyone I asked, you're dead. Go ahead. People aren't taking me seriously. When I insult them, they don't seem that bothered. They don't cry or run away like they used to. C'mon, you're plenty offensive. Don't patronize me you @#$% meathead. Wow. Didn't bother me a bit.

"He said his first word today - pubbies!"

Mavis didn't realise she was still on hold. . . !

'Yes that's right I ordered 2 doubles. Why, did you want a drink too?'

'I'm going to Internets Anonymous...we meet in a Yahoo chatroom!'

"I felt the Earth Move!"

What happens in vagueness stays in vagueness.