Cheerful Chatter Gifts

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'The bar's famous for its high spirits.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

"I'd appreciate a little more reacting to my ranting."

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

Communication

Death chatting in a pub - "The scythe?...Oh that went years ago. I've got a brand new combine harvester in the car park!"

'A packet o' crisps, and have one for yersel'.'

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

"This is a 'warts and all' biography with some really great warts."

"Want to come over Sunday, watch the game, and help me start dreading Monday?"

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

Nice Old Ladies Tend to Look at the Bright Side of Things: 'As kids my brother and I took turns beating each other up!' 'Well, I think it's wonderful when kids take turns!'

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

'...the next train arriving at platform one is the 10.45 fast service to orgasm central!'

Online Dating

'Why don't you come to my birthday party? It'll be a great place for networking...'

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

"Omigod, you have such a cute smile!"

'We were playing doctor until she hit me with a malpractice suit!'

"No, I've never been to the Hamptons, but I have been in hellish traffic."

'He's great at communicating, but it's office gossip.'

'I've never been superstitious...touch wood'

"After so many years of marriage what are you getting for your anniversary?"

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, BOO! Did I scare you? Regards, Rick in Seattle. (Actual reader letter). Ask Sadie at asksadieshow@gmail.com. Yeah, I'm really scared. Aren't you, Rudy? Boo, Rudy! Boooooo! That, however, terrifies me. Sorry, you were saying? Some guy tweeted his breakfast menu.(This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-07)

"I put an olive in my beer and turn it into a health drink."

"Ever notice that you finish my sentences and. . ."