Charming Chatter Gifts

'He likes his books... unputdownable.'

'Why don't you come to my birthday party? It'll be a great place for networking...'

'I can never open those sachets of sauce.' (Thinks: I think she's falling for my saucy schmooze!'

Online Dating

Why we need poetry. . .

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Text Culture

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

'Do you come here often?'

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"I'd appreciate a little more reacting to my ranting."

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

White Wine Wisdom (2)

Communication

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

Social butterfly

'...the next train arriving at platform one is the 10.45 fast service to orgasm central!'

"Talk? Hell, after a few drinks you can't shut me up."

'No talking' sign at a fishing site.