Charming Chatter T-Shirts

'He likes his books... unputdownable.'

'Why don't you come to my birthday party? It'll be a great place for networking...'

'I can never open those sachets of sauce.' (Thinks: I think she's falling for my saucy schmooze!'

Online Dating

Why we need poetry. . .

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Text Culture

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

'Do you come here often?'

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"I'd appreciate a little more reacting to my ranting."

White Wine Wisdom (2)

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

Communication

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

"Henpecked?! Don't get me started about being hen-pecked buddy!"

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

'...the next train arriving at platform one is the 10.45 fast service to orgasm central!'

'No talking' sign at a fishing site.

"Talk? Hell, after a few drinks you can't shut me up."

Social butterfly

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."