Spirit Strategist Pillows

A ghost visits a man in a prison cell

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"If you really want to get ahead you'll need to stop licking your own butt and start licking mine."

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"It's not who you know, it's how you use them."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Dating the efficiency expert.

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

"...and remember son. Don't let anybody push you around!"

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

'Let's take a minute to allow the bad karma of the old regime to lift.'

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

Don't let your your evil twin be your wingman when trying to pick up a woman in a bar.

Ye Olde Inn, Fine Food & Spirits.

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

"I married for contrast."

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

'When you play hard to get you really mean it, don't you?'

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

'Pay no attention, they are a couple of ex husbands.'