Spirit Strategist Mugs

A ghost visits a man in a prison cell

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"If you really want to get ahead you'll need to stop licking your own butt and start licking mine."

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"It's not who you know, it's how you use them."

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Dating the efficiency expert.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

"...and remember son. Don't let anybody push you around!"

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

'Let's take a minute to allow the bad karma of the old regime to lift.'

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

"I married for contrast."

Don't let your your evil twin be your wingman when trying to pick up a woman in a bar.

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

'Pay no attention, they are a couple of ex husbands.'

Ye Olde Inn, Fine Food & Spirits.

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

'When you play hard to get you really mean it, don't you?'

'...assuming the numbers are right, ask her to marry you.'