Spider Scorner Gifts

'Well, there's nothing wrong with you: Most of us suffer from arachnophobia...'

Dinner at the Trapdoors

The Amazing Man-Spider

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Extreme Bungy

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

Musical Web

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'I want you to bring me one.'

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

Jackson Pollock the Spider

OMG UR HOT

Spider's Web Trampoline

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

Spider Web Stocking

'Are we there yet?'

Want the wings as an appetizer?

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

Fly Tightrope walker

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'Reserved' (presumably for little miss muffet)

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

"I do appreciate that it eats other bugs, but it also ate my husband."

'Rats, we've caught a dung beetle: They taste horrible...'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'