Spider Collection Pillows

After immobilising its prey, the Tasmanian Death Spider prefers to suck out the innards with a bendy straw.

The Amazing Man-Spider

Dinner at the Trapdoors

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Extreme Bungy

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

Want the wings as an appetizer?

'Are we there yet?'

Spider's Web Trampoline

Spider Web Stocking

OMG UR HOT

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'I want you to bring me one.'

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"Well at least nobody notices we don't go out much anymore."

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"I won't bring any more friends home unless you let me play with them first!"

"It's really surprising that your transformation into a werewolf did nothing for your male pattern baldness."

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"It was very generous of you, by the way."

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'Rats, we've caught a dung beetle: They taste horrible...'

Spider watching his web cam.

"Arachnophunnies"