Cross Collection Pillows

We're from the bible belt

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"He loves his leaf blower."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Some card-game puns

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Bangers and Mash

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

Scenic View offers mountain with cherry on top.

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"