Spider Appreciation Pillows

'It's knit one, pearl two.'

I.M. sPEIder

The Amazing Man-Spider

Dinner at the Trapdoors

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

Extreme Bungy

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

'I like zebras. They have great taste, and wonderful personalities too.'

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

OMG UR HOT

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'Are we there yet?'

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

Spider's Web Trampoline

Spider Web Stocking

Want the wings as an appetizer?

'I want you to bring me one.'

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"I won't bring any more friends home unless you let me play with them first!"

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

'Bernice . . . could you come in here please? Bring a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter!'

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'I'm just surfing the web.'

'The trick is to label straight away, otherwise I forget what I have in my larder...'