Spider Appreciation Pillows

'It's knit one, pearl two.'

I.M. sPEIder

Dinner at the Trapdoors

The Amazing Man-Spider

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Extreme Bungy

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

Idle parts

'I like zebras. They have great taste, and wonderful personalities too.'

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'Are we there yet?'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

Spider's Web Trampoline

Spider Web Stocking

OMG UR HOT

'I want you to bring me one.'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"I won't bring any more friends home unless you let me play with them first!"

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

'Bernice . . . could you come in here please? Bring a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter!'

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

Spider watching his web cam.

'I'm just surfing the web.'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'Rats, we've caught a dung beetle: They taste horrible...'

A spider meal prepping