Spending Skeptic Pillows

"...why haven't you been taking part in the spending boom?"

"I'm telling you, we already cut the fat."

Politicians and Budget Cuts.

'Six hundred dollars! That's ridiculous! I could buy a new driver with that kind of money!'

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

'Stocks dropped today, proving once again that life sucks.'

The private sector is a parasite on the economy.

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Assets $2,400,000,000 Liabilities $4,6000,000,000 Government Bailout $2,200,000,000

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

How Supply-Side Economics Works.

"Have you ever wanted something so bad that you'd actually save up the money to buy it?"

'We can tell the public, ' the good news is we've eliminated the middleman, The bad news is we've eliminated a lot of other jobs.''

Deposits Insured By The U.S. Government (which has a $29 Trillion Debt).

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

'We're worried about your ability to lend us money.'

'Rumors...'

Home improvements do not always represent a sound investment.