Spellchecking Survivalist Gifts

"Don't embarrass me again, spell-checker."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

'Thank-you God.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

'Arf! Arf!'

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"Yes, I'm alone."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

"No, I'm not building a raft. I'm building a double bed!"

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

"Back to school can bring on the summertime blues."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

Island and man

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.