Spell Texter Gifts

"Texting hexes is such a time saver!"

Newt sale

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

Witches of Instagram

Wild West Text Showdown

"By the way, does anything other than 'trouble' rhyme with 'bubble'?"

"Broom! Broom!"

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

"I can't use this. It's past its spell by date."

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

Hexercise.

"Your're mum's well wicked."

Man reads book entitled: TXTRS DGEST.

"When I agreed to learn the ABC's, I thought D through Z would be optional."

'Mum, have you seen my pet lizard anywhere?'

You Have 1 New Messages

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

"Eye of newt, wing of bat, blah blah blah, here's one I made earlier."

"Wait. Let me have one more try."

"It's the witching hour somewhere."

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

"What's this Artificial newt's tail? Instant toad urine? No wonder your spells suck!"

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

Men, there is no I in team! Seriously. I just got a text from your English professor, so go ahead and fix that in the playbook I handed out. (Pulished originally on March 6, 2010.)

Zen Voodoo

Girl reads a book called Speed Texting For Everyday Use

Coven ready - Witch in supermarket with a 'coven ready' chicken

I thought this year we'd do soup and salad.

Magic Mushrooms

'Do you run everything through a spell-checker?'

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

"It's a loaner until mine is back from the shop."

"Just one eye of newt. I'm on a diet!"