Speedy Artist T-Shirts

"Yes, you work quickly, but kids expect a bit more detail."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

Texturing the Walls

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

'I wish I was creative'

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Ok, maybe a surprise party wasn't the best idea."

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

The Goal Post-Impressionists,

A dog whose nose is a gun.

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

"I see the radiator's Baroque again."

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

Galerie de Commerce: Invoices of the Post-Impressionists

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

'You're not creating another thing till you've tidied your room!'

'Allow me to suck the electricity out.'

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

Non Drip Paint

"I hope you don't mind but I used a couple of your ugly ties for a tail."

"Ok, let's sneak up on Mr. Canvas and see if we can make a good impression."