Speedcubing Champ Gifts

World Championships Tungsten Rubik's Cube

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

A smiling cyclist

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

Cleaner playing pool with brush.

Four fishermen catch the same fish.

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

"What about your precious opposable thumbs now?"

"You don't need English on every shot."

"The latest reports show life expectancy going down for the first time."

'I appreciate you doing the work of two men, Haskell, but Baker and Clayton never did anything either.'

"You say you want me to do well in school. I thought you'd be more excited that I can burp the alphabet!"

"Explain these 3,674 games of solitaire we found on your office computer?"

"Thanks for calling the celebration help desk. For assistance with high fives, press one now. For fist bumps, press two, for chest bumps, press three..."

"When I finally got my own car, I never drove over the speed limit."

"That's where everyone started getting sick of me."

'How would you have played that last ball?'

Motorbike

'Why don't you put that little black belt thingy to good use, and karate chop me a couple of shelves for the hall closet!'

Quartet on surfboards

'Get Davis to do it. He's user friendly.'

Girl on couch considers channel-hopping to be a sport

Rex reverted back to his sea dog ways...

"Is the German-potato-salad marathon normally this messy?"

"They're padded shorts: yes, your butt looks big."

"Mine was the top cubicle of the week."

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