Speed Junkie Gifts

Information Super Highway. Speed Limit, 5,000,000,000 bytes per second. Enforced by radar.

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Eat me"

"Siri, find oxygen."

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

'I love to see you all so busy!'

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

"These kids and their shellfies..."

"My self-driving car is wintering in Florida."

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

"It's the new self-driving model."

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

I'd rather be phishing.

Cheerleaders

Four Stages of Communication: Tell, Bell, Cell, Hell.

"Mom's left her phone here. We'll have to walk to the kitchen to tell her to get us dinner."

'So, were we entertained tonight, or just bludgeoned into submission?'

"Let's give those new bulbs a try."

"Well? How was your first bungee jump?"

'No enemies, Miss, could you give men a list of his friends?'

"We're too late - the zombie apocalypse has beaten us to this planet."

"Memory? It has too much memory. Still holds a grudge."

"Scan it for signs of life."

May 2004: Crack of 4:00 AM / May 2020: Crack of 4:00 PM

'This watch goes up to fifty-nine seconds a minute!'

'Looks like Bob has taken his new e-commerce position a bit too seriously!'

"I don't know why you have to upgrade your mobile every five minutes."

Waking the Dead.