Speech Sleuth Gifts

Shoot Your Mouth Off.

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Dialogue

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'Have you no common scents?!'

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"Do you smell something?"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

"Nice job, but there in the middle, I think you spelled Akhenaten wrong."

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

Man reading a book in the library. Notices a man next to him reading all book about spying.

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

"It's got my current Wordle winning streak on it."

"This can't be soup....where are all the little letters that usually float in it?"

'I got my grant to study why the word 'COOL' persists generation after generation'

"I write these in my manager's handwriting, so no one will hate me."

A Welcome mat words mixed up at the Dyslexic Clinic

'And always remember that it is the gritty colon itself, not the half-baked semi-colon, that wields the power to confound even the most erudite minds.'

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

"My libido?...What the hell does this even mean?"

Conflicting Reports

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"