Speech Sage Gifts

"You know, Ed, it's not so much what you say, it's how you say it."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

Voltaire

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Are you working on a vaccine for Covid-19?"

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

Help me COVI one ten O.B. you're my only hope

How To Cut The Defense Budget

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

"Don't repeat this."

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

Man picking up an H for a lady who drops her Hs

Jules Henri Poincare

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

"Oh, do stick it adjectively adverbially where the 'effin' sun don't shine!"

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

'Tell me a little bit about yourself.'