Speech Critique Pillows

Melania Trump's Speech

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

We need a Europe of U-turns.

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

How's my sermon. . .

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

How's my Sermon . . .

"Thanks for your introductory speech at the conference. By the way, Hibblemeyer, it's 'hard-headed' businessman, not 'thick-headed'."

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"Don't repeat this."

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

Man picking up an H for a lady who drops her Hs

Citizen Cane...

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

"Is this speech pie-in-the-sky nonsense or aspirational?"

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

For the record, my young speech writers don't consider borrowing phrases as plagiarism. They consider it sampling.

The speech is ethical. One source is plagiarism, two is research.

"Take this box of rumors, innuendo and hearsay and turn it into decisive leadership."

'Tell me a little bit about yourself.'

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."