Conversation Critiquers Pillows

"...so enough about me. You're dead, aren't you?"

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Could I ask just one question?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

Protest

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

Attention Span Man

Big Talk/Small Talk.

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

"I owe you an apology. When you bought that muzzle, I was mad because I assumed you bought it for your dog."

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"