Speculation Strategist Gifts

International Speculators

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

World Economic Crisis.

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

'Superstock'