Speculation Stopper Gifts

'Don't be afraid, the speculators won't take away your savings. I'll be faster than they are!'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

Woman crying with happiness.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

When Downsizing has Gone Too Far...

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

"Just in case you want to invest, I've got a great idea for a dot.com startup."

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

Don't put your daughter on the stage Mrs Worthington.

"Facts are good, but we need all the rumors, gossip, and speculation to fully understand the situation."

'The market dropped sharply on the rumor that new sell off rumors in the financial sector will lead to more widespread rumors...'

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

Department of Pure Speculation.

'And now, Henderson will introduce his 25-part plan on spontaneity.'

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

'Mind if I wear it to the door? I want to test audience reaction.'

I didn't dress this way to go unnoticed

'Haffner, we'll have none of your common sense suggestions!'

Wall Street Down

International Speculators

"Tonight's performance has been canceled, because the star of our show has decided that musicals are stupid."

"OK, I'll be the one to say it. With all due respect, sir, that is one heck of a big 'if!'"

'Yes, fifty to one is a great return on your money, but the muddy track makes it a risky investment.'

"Some say we can't go on making millions forever, but I think they're wrong!"

'Looks like the work of the infamous international frequent flyer burglar - Better dust for carbon finger prints!'