Spectral Readers Gifts

Ghost Reading Science Fiction.

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

'What does it say, Dad?'

"I told you it was a book you couldn't put down."

Sensitivity Reader's Digest

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"I know. But I think I can change him."

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"But this book is just the alphabet all jumbled up..."

dog reading EKG

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

Sensitivity Reader

"I see travel and romance. You'll be going away soon. I see a tall, dark stranger with many tattoos."

'That book is not available in this solar system, but we can order it for you.'

'Cause of death is still unknown. We hope to learn more once he's dead'

Library Space Travel Section,"There you are sir,one small step for man."

'Will I ever catch my tail?'

'This container lists only one hundred of the most common side effects. More can be found on the manufacturer's website.'

"Frankly, I've repressed my sexuality so long I've actually forgotten what my orientation is."

Thriller of the Week

During the Tempest, Panurge's Courage has Deserted Him. Friar Jean Mocks Him (Rabelais).

'About half the students increased speed and lost some comprehension. The other half increased comprehension but lost some speed.'

Who's really behind all one-star national parks reviews.

"I always start the day by reading my horror scope."

"This is an intervention. It's clear that you've resumed your habit of reading the reviews."

You Will Eat A Fortune Cookie.