Spectral Communicator Gifts

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

21st century water cooler conversations.

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Textin’"

"We evolved from asteroids"

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

Ruddy bloggers!

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"Don't even think about it."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'After we learn the alphabet, are we going to learn how to text?'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

Spam in Hell.

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."