Spectacle Superstar T-Shirts

'That's still blurry This might be a good time to show you your bill.'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

Healthy.

"It took a lot of hard work to get here, but it was all worth it in the end."

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

'Your standardized test scores are impressive, but we have no standardized jobs.'

'Kid, go out there and play like you're worth 29 million plus signing bonus, buyouts, and endorsement deals. '

'It's for show and tell!'

The family tradition lives on: I won the Long Jump and the Triple Jump events...

Optometrist practical jokes

'I don't care what your mother always told you. The way to this man's heart isn't through his stomach!'

"Why, you're not Jim! I really need to get glasses."

Open Mic Night

'No matter how often I do the show, I still suffer from stage fright...'

"I'm not conceited although, heaven knows, I have every right to be..."

"You always seem to get good grades in Show and Tell."

Christmas Special Shopping Trolley.

'Getting old isn't so bad when you consider the only other alternative. . .'

Sit ups.

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'I strongly recommend a surgeon who can putt over one who hits the long drive.'

'I think our fans are excited for us. It just doesn't seem like it because of doing 'The Wave' they do 'The Still Water'.'

Tease-Maid - Wakey wakey four-eyes!