Show And Tell Superstar T-Shirts

'After Timmy's Show & Tell, my snapping turtle is going to suck.'

"You always seem to get good grades in Show and Tell."

'It's for show and tell!'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

Hi, sweetie! How was the talent show? Did they enjoy your Clay Aiken tribute?

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

'Selling a stock and marking a profit is better than selling it at a loss, if only for the bragging rights.'

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

'Yes, doctor, I sang to her constantly as a baby. Her first words were ‘Gimme Ipod'.'

George Best

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"If anyone wants me I'll be on the shop floor strutting my stuff."

"Thank you for coming into the studio tonight, your story is truly a fascinating one, however I've decided our time would be better spent reviewing my meteoric rise to celebrity status within this television network."

Touch Gig

'Before I start, my lawyer advised me to have you all sign this non-disclosure agreement...'

Sit ups.

Dog gets financial advice.

'Now that's what I call a trickshot!'

'Don't you just love that new horse smell?'

Tommy Cooper's Recycling Facility - Bottle/Glass/Glass/Bottle/Bottle/Glass.

'I wouldn't read that book, dear...it's only there to impress visitors.'

Grandstander!

'Well, when in doubt, I always say, pick the wine that'll impress the hell out of the complete strangers at the next table.'

'That's still blurry This might be a good time to show you your bill.'

The little engine that had a husband, kids, and a full-time job, and did everyone's emotional labor all the time."

Annual Convention of Small Talkers.

Kid says 'My mom and I are into canning.'

'When Obama heard he won the Nobel Peace Prize, he was SPEECHLESS.... But then, Bill Ayers WROTE one for hom!