Small Talk Superstar T-Shirts

Annual Convention of Small Talkers.

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

What price beauty?

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"But I haven't finished explaining about dollar-cost-averaging." "Sorry, I didn't register for this course."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

The Art of Bantering!

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

"The originator of the office birthday party."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak!...'

Snail slow to react to an ant's joke.

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

Dadonomics

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

Why are you here?

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

He took every chance to practice his talk.

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

"Jim is a good old-fashioned modernist."

"I'll tell you what ... you mingle, I'm going to monopolize a conversation."

"I grew up in St Louis and went to school in New Jersey and have been in Brooklyn ever-since, but sure, I guess technically I'm 'from' the Black Lagoon."

Hi. How's it goin'? Good, you? 'Sup. Hey. Hello. The Primordial Schmooze.

'I once met the tweeter for a famous novelist, but never anyone who tweeted for an organic, patented plum.'

"Lovely weather for it."