Spectacle Solver Pillows

CartoonStock Upload"How am I supposed to fix my glasses without glasses when I can't even see the stupid little screw driver? Eye glasses repair kit my a**. More like a makes me wanna drink drain cleaner kit."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

The circus diver.

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Famous Optical Illusions!

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

Dog detectives

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

'Ragrding our cash-flow problewm, it's agreed then...Sims enters the bank at 10am, Riggs will follow, and Yates drives the getaway car...'

STRIP Hambone: Computer an accessory to computer fraud

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"Well well, Mr. Chamberlain. It seems you've discovered my secret."

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

Chess on TV

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

'This is a simple case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.'

Locking Up Crime

Sistine murder

"Thanks to my new glasses, I can enjoy a good old "bird's eye view" again..."

'In that case we will ALL wait for the results of the lab assistant's DNA test on the chalk.'

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

'It seems to be pretty easy, chief. The victim was a fishmonger and we've got a motive, a culprit and a murder weapon.'

Fair and Balanced Reporting

I see you've caught my honey robber.'

"It was my upbringing, I was smacked on my bottom when I was born."