Spectacle Solver Pillows

CartoonStock Upload"How am I supposed to fix my glasses without glasses when I can't even see the stupid little screw driver? Eye glasses repair kit my a**. More like a makes me wanna drink drain cleaner kit."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

The circus diver.

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

Dog detectives

"He did it!"

Famous Optical Illusions!

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

'Ragrding our cash-flow problewm, it's agreed then...Sims enters the bank at 10am, Riggs will follow, and Yates drives the getaway car...'

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

'We've got a new DNA database...'

STRIP Hambone: Computer an accessory to computer fraud

I think I need new glasses. I swear I just saw a tiny man jump off your bridge.

Chess on TV

"Well well, Mr. Chamberlain. It seems you've discovered my secret."

Locking Up Crime

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

'This is a simple case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.'

Sistine murder

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"Thanks to my new glasses, I can enjoy a good old "bird's eye view" again..."

'In that case we will ALL wait for the results of the lab assistant's DNA test on the chalk.'

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

"It was my upbringing, I was smacked on my bottom when I was born."

'It seems to be pretty easy, chief. The victim was a fishmonger and we've got a motive, a culprit and a murder weapon.'

Fair and Balanced Reporting