Spectacle Connoisseur Gifts

"Yes, the glasses work well, but now that I can clearly see what we're fed, I've lost my appetite..."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Louis Armstrong

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Baroque Peacock

"Hugh fans!"

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Piano Recital

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

Creation of Red Wine

Prosecco Peacock

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Prosecco

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

Un ballo in maschera

The Cremaster Cycle

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

The Kali De Milo.

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

Fabulous civil union cake.

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."