Species Rivalry Fan Pillows

I wonder what fiendish plan those two morons are plotting aginst me...

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

The Alpha Seltzer

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'Bad news: the report says it's cheaper if cats make it...'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

'Great invention, Rex! What are you going to call it?'

'I hate snowboarders!'

Doggie Bowl Drill

Whilst a dog is weeing at the base of a tree, a squirrel wees at the entrance of it's dog house.

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

Lion v Kiwi.

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

'It took me five years to learn, but now I can climb trees! Let's see if that darn cat will laugh at me now...'

Federal Employees Annual Easter Egg Hunt: 'This isn't fair - the CIA always wins!'

Strikeout Dog

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

Sick Exhibitionist

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

Christopher Marlowe

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"So how come he gets to stay inside and do his business?"

David Anderson vs. Goliath

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."

'And you need some reading material,eh?'

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."