Specialty Diets Gifts

"Sorry, dear. I couldn't find a gluten or lactose-free sugarless non-GMO raw-vegan birthday cake..." "Tell me that's a nutless mulch muffin."

Soup of the month.

'Not that sort of body building program!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

The discovery of asparagus.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Vegetarian Birds

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Macho Vegetarian

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"You won’t need refills."

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'

"Some doctor that guy is - He's OBSESSED with diet and exercise!"

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"