Medical Diet Change Gifts

'And ask the chef to run his blender as he cooks that steak. My doctor has put me on a liquid diet.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Soup of the month.

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

The discovery of asparagus.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

"You won’t need refills."

Macho Vegetarian

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'