Medical Diet Change Gifts

'And ask the chef to run his blender as he cooks that steak. My doctor has put me on a liquid diet.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

The discovery of asparagus.

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Garlic Free Zone.

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

"You won’t need refills."

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Macho Vegetarian

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.