Spca Staff Gifts

SPCA: USED CATS AND DOGS

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Multi-tasking.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Happy Hour

The World's Easiest Airport

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

TSA Noah

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

The Scanner Of Love.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

Busy office.

Employee of the Month Parking

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Brainstorm in progress.

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'