Spanner Specialist Gifts

"Just discovered a new type of bone. Not great on flavour but it lasts for ages."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

'It has been revealed that a senior politician will criticise something in a speech. Later they will criticise the opposite of something, just in case.'

'It was only a five minute job. Not worth changing out of his best clothes for'

Chinese History: Redwash

A boy and his spin patrol.

The Truth

"There sits the unvarnished truth. Now, how shall we interpret it to our advantage?"

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

"Well, you taught him to fetch our slippers."

"I didn't know you could get a PhD in Spin."

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

"And that's the way we want you to think it is."

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."