Spam Call Survivors Pillows

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Sir, can I interest you in a luxury coffin?"

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

'You've waited on hold 45 minutes just to speak to my boss? Seriously, sir, get a life!'

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

"To hear the sounds of the seas press 1, for all other options, or, to speak with a customer advisor, please press 2."

'A telemarketing call for you, Sir.'

"... Or, if you're tired of listening to all of these automated options and would like to cancel your call, press 9."

"It's a robocall, should I take it?"

"Even though I'm a robot with robot with no emotions, all these telemarketing calls I'm getting is starting to get on my nerves."

"I'm sorry – you have the wrong language."

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

"Heading back to the office after a year of daily zoom meetings."

"In the time I’ve been on hold with this collection agency, my debt has been bought and sold to another collection agency!"

'Please... take... a... moment... to... complete... our... brief... survey... to... help... improve... customer... satisfaction... '

'And just FYI, I was a caterpillar when you first put me on hold!'

"Your car warranty is about to expire..."

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

'You've stayed on hold for 20 minutes? Oh, dear! You'd better make an appointment with Dr. Willems to work on your self-esteem.'

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

"Car insurance?? - No thanks!"

"I only wish this was the final notice."

"Faked by a snake selling rakes."

Education Payroll: 'We're trying to resolve your salary problem or, at the very east, put you on hold for th rest of the day.'

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

"Hi this is Mario...is this Sergio Bermudez? Are you interested in buying..."

'Funny how talking to an automated voice system makes YOU sound like the robot.'

"To be honest I thought Hades would be Hellfire, Brimstone and eternal suffering....but this is way worse!!"

Reverend Quinby visits the holdy land

"If you are angry at being kept on hold, press 1, if you are furious press 2, if you are apoplectic with rage ..."