Space Seeking Strategist T-Shirts

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

A man looks up at the earth

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

An astronaut sees a sign saying zoning in force.

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

"Take me to your thought leader."

"Yeah, OK! You surrender. We get it. That's great. Now who's in charge around here? Hello? Yoo-hoo."

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

"Gosh, it's hot in Roswell!"

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

Murphy bed...Murphy.

"We went with an open floor plan because it can really facilitate a shared sense of hysteria."

'You won't lose any more money. We're the first fund with a GPS tracking system.'

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

"To save money, all you need to do is pack all those clothes into this suitcase. Be sure to leave room for my shoes."

"We didn't have room to store the Halloween decorations so we put them on the Christmas Tree."

'What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing to compare it with.'

'I want to be the first person to land on the sun.'

"I just hope this doesn't define me."

Ok, I've set you up with an offshore back account, so you can hide your valuables for use after the oncoming apocalypse. You're too kind, sir. Where is it? Caymans? Switzerland? That's amateur stuff. The economy's increasingly global. When America goes down, it could take the Swiss and Cayman economies down with it. Then where – To open your account, I'll need your passport, tax returns, and a map of your genome. Bank of Deneb Prime. Trump turned me on to it.

Billionaires in space!

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Extreme Coworking Space

Space force clocks.

Walking stooped 'So that was the spare room.'

Moon Walk

"They expect to get all this into a one-bedroom in Brooklyn."

'I'm afraid Roswell is all booked up -- How about Area 51?'