Space Shot Strategist T-Shirts

I'll play the streaky red meteor into the blue planet into corner black hole. Fat chance! You haven't made that shot since the dinosaurs were down there!

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

A man looks up at the earth

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

"Take me to your thought leader."

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

'It just came out. It handles forehands, backhands and overheads all in one motion.'

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

Murphy bed...Murphy.

'You won't lose any more money. We're the first fund with a GPS tracking system.'

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

"I'm in advertising. . ."

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

"To save money, all you need to do is pack all those clothes into this suitcase. Be sure to leave room for my shoes."

'This is Phillips. He's our new idea man.'

"We didn't have room to store the Halloween decorations so we put them on the Christmas Tree."

"I'd fire him in a minute, but the old man thinks we need his unique perspective around here."