Space Ranger T-Shirts

Focus on the important stuff...

Bitchbark Canoe

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Outer Space Outsourcing

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Alien David statue

"Look what I found, dad!"

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

'But what is the universe for?'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Would you relax? They never look up."

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

Alien Snowmen

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

The flies have landed.

Marry me astronaut

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

How am I abducting?

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

Friends and enemies of the Earth.