Space Journeyer T-Shirts

'Of course I'm paranoid and delusional, dummy! -- I was abducted by aliens, for crying out loud!'

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Alien David statue

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Look what I found, dad!"

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

'But what is the universe for?'

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

Alien Snowmen

"Would you relax? They never look up."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

Marry me astronaut

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

The flies have landed.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

The First Martian Dog.

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

How am I abducting?

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

How did THAT get there? Wash me.

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

Friends and enemies of the Earth.