Souvenir Skeptic Pillows

Excess Baggage: Getting a souvenir you never asked for is as bad as having to watch videos of someone's vacation.

Excess Baggage: Getting a souvenir you never asked for is as bad as having to watch videos of someone's vacation.

'Now that's an afro!'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

I love the Shard

"God works in mysterious ways."

I love Museum Shops

Little Tiny Push-Carts

"Just pick some. No one expects a postcard to reflect your personal aesthetic."

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

"Psychiatric convention"

"Your aunt has bequeathed to you her collection of toilet paper, soap and towels from 385 hotels from all over the world."

"Do you know if they comply with airline baggage regulations?"

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

The Everest Experience: Cafe and Gift Shop

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"It's just a little memento from a company we bought and cannibalized a few years ago!"

"You and your stones collection!"

Rational explanations

'Why not just buy a tube?'

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

Welcome to the Valley of the Shadow of Death

"I want to travel the world, bringing home ugly little trinkets."

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

'It's Mexico, dear. They need some of their stuff back.'

"Here's another song about the merch table t-shirt you'll regret not buying."

"We climbed three thousand feet up Mont Blanc to get that one."

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

Fans Desperately Try To Catch A Baseball