Sourdough Disciple Pillows

"And this scar? Bread knife slipped whilst cutting a slice of sourdough."

Moses on the web

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Baking

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

God's Phone

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"I have an app for that."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"How are we on bread?"

I bake my own bread.

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

Spiritual Lives Matter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

The Remote Olympics

Way too much anthropomorphising

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

"When are you going to make the sort of bread my mother makes?"

You Have 1 New Messages

Baker

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

Gracebook.