Dough Disciple Pillows

All baking done on the premises

Moses on the web

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

Baking

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

God's Phone

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

"I have an app for that."

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

I bake my own bread.

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

"How are we on bread?"

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

All work and no play makes jack a dough boy.

Way too much anthropomorphising

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'We've lost the ability to fly Dad: To fly! How is that evolution?'

"Your kneads? What about my kneads?"

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

You Have 1 New Messages

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

"When are you going to make the sort of bread my mother makes?"

Baker