Dough Disciple Pillows

All baking done on the premises

Moses on the web

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Baking

God's Phone

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"I have an app for that."

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"How are we on bread?"

I bake my own bread.

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

Spiritual Lives Matter

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

Way too much anthropomorphising

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

All work and no play makes jack a dough boy.

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

'We've lost the ability to fly Dad: To fly! How is that evolution?'

"Your kneads? What about my kneads?"

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

"When are you going to make the sort of bread my mother makes?"

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

I bake my own bread