Souper Trooper Pillows

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"Brian's been pursuing a successful career in the City for 25 years..."

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

'Your tea is getting cold.'

"Trust me – she's a witch."

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

Speed Limit Enforced from Aircraft.

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

'Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch! Boy I hate hot sand...'

"She already spent summers in New York City without A/C."

"'Holy cow... She can't spell for #!@*. Is that a 'T' or an 'L'? This entire letter is a grammatical nightmare!"

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

'Are you nodding in agreement, or falling asleep?'

"That summit Johnson! Our goal is the summit!"

Astronomical observations.

"What's the rush? He'll still be dead when you get there."

Super Bowl Monday

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir, my mistake. That sign was meant for someone with a less expensive car."

'It's my birthday. I'm giving a free cup of coffee to everyone that gets a ticket.'

Speed Limit Enforced by Slow Aircraft

Clown car full of policemen

Postman delivering a sack of mail through heavy snowdrift.

'Where's everybody?'

'It's going to be all right, sir. Just slow down and tell me how long you've been lost.'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'The show must go on!'

Deja Viewer

"Shall I put you down for a state trooper cap, T-shirt, or coffee mug?"

"If you're going to start a snowplow business, I suggest getting a bigger plow."