Soundbite Specialist T-Shirts

"Now tell me about yourself in a ten second sound bite."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

'Why don't you ever look at ME that way?'

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

'What luck! A sound technician.'

Subwoofer

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

Vladimir Putin 101: Saying the Opposite of What You Mean

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

Man chasing microphone.

Gettysburg Address, "Now can we have it as a sound bite ?"

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

"Good morning - your neighbours have asked me to come and tune your piano."

'This beauty will give you that British sound. It will convert your nasal twang into proper Queen's English.

'Six disc CD changer, six hundred watt multi-amp, 800 watt sub, I tell you man this monster rocks!!'

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

Communication

'Didn't I tell you to take up some hobby other than opera?'

'Here is your new stereo. It's got a SupaDeep Woofer System, with it's high octane surround sound, I'm sure it will fit smoothly into your life. But for God's sake; don't turn it on.'

'Congratulations, its a six pound audio technician.'

'Tell me a little bit about yourself.'

'How humiliating! I got shot down by my own talking points!'

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

'I know you're tired of hearing the same old political cliches, but I believe in recycling.'

"You're dragging the beat."

Ear specialist uses sign to communicate with hearing impaired patient.

'Whom should I call first? 911 or the audio technician?'

Information might travel at the speed of light, but the news still travels at the speed of sound bites.