Speech Specialist T-Shirts

'How humiliating! I got shot down by my own talking points!'

International Brotherhood of Audio Engineers: 'Is this thing on?'

Communication

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

Walt's Computer & Electronics - Special 3 Hour Class: 'How not to babble while voice recording only $20.'

An official making a speech at a press conference.

"Yeah, hello Alektha, Danger noodle down-in dumpth."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Inclusive speech

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

What's normal?

Dialogue

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

"A haand gel...!?"

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."