Soundtrack Specialist T-Shirts

"You're dragging the beat."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I just can't help mindlessly humming the corn ball tunes I pick up from the elevator."

Felix Mendelssohn

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

'Why don't you ever look at ME that way?'

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

'What luck! A sound technician.'

Subwoofer

Musical genres

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'The bloke with violin is on holiday.'

"Hibernate sounds better than binge watch."

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

"Trust me, Brad, those comedy sound effects aren't a reflection of how this is going."

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

'Six disc CD changer, six hundred watt multi-amp, 800 watt sub, I tell you man this monster rocks!!'

'This beauty will give you that British sound. It will convert your nasal twang into proper Queen's English.

'I understand Sir. No, I didn't take that personally, Sir...Could you hold please?'

'Didn't I tell you to take up some hobby other than opera?'

Resume of Claude Brisketson Composer

"... And how long have you had this total fixation with T.V.?"

'Congratulations, its a six pound audio technician.'

'Here is your new stereo. It's got a SupaDeep Woofer System, with it's high octane surround sound, I'm sure it will fit smoothly into your life. But for God's sake; don't turn it on.'

Felix Mendelssohn

'I know the legal process doesn't really work like it does on TV, but couldn't you at least have a sound track.'

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

Gioacchino Antonio Rossini

'Whom should I call first? 911 or the audio technician?'

'Sorry guys! But i'm afraid we're going to have to shoot this segment again. The darn tape just ran out!'

Richard Taruskin