Sound Therapy Gifts

"On the other hand, the constant gurgling sound helps us sleep."

'You know, Doc, I pictured this sound therapy completely different than it is.'

"How was the gong bath?"

"Of all the music records to have on a desert island, we get stuck with 'Soothing Sounds of the Ocean.'"

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"Postwar is hell."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'Why don't you ever look at ME that way?'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

The trauma of losing.

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'