Sound Spectacle Enthusiast Gifts

Extreme Sound Engineering

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Artist and Musician

"Tong!"

My other cello is a Stradivari

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Don't you wish you worked in an office sometimes? No! Tree's Tree Nursery. There's nothing here to listen to. Are you kidding. Whoosh. Crack. Rustle. Thwump. Caw. Yes, but there's no ironic commentary. Are you kidding?

"Come up and purr in her other ear... she likes the surround sound."

'Now watch our sales increase.'

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

"You wanted to see the pastry chef, sir."

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

Dolphin tricks.

"That's O.K., Dad. I think I'll do with the ambient waterfall sounds tonight."

The Gong

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

Some musicians discovering a noise from a boiling kettle

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

Older and wiser

Musical Accidents

"I'm sorry I didn't find your wallet but I found six pairs of reading glasses!"

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

"The post-touchdown celebrations are getting out of hand."

'An optician was having a closing down sale...I got the last pair!'

'Another advantage is the humming and whirring, which is so much more plasant than chalk screeching on a blackboard.'

The Kink and I

"Congratulations, I now (phonetically) pronounce you Charles and Katherine Henderson."

Before she disciplined a student, Principal Helen Edelman played recordings of previous visitors to her office.

"Let me through - I'm a Sound Recordist!"