Sound Machine Skeptic Gifts

'The sounds of the ocean aren't relaxing to me. I keep worrying about a tsunami.'

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

Artist and Musician

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

"We tried six speakers, then twelve, and finally we put in the Pittsburgh Symphony, yet we still feel something is lacking."

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

The Gong

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

'My bike is so loud I couldn't hear my tunes.'

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

'Turn that ambient music down!'

Musical Accidents

"Congratulations, I now (phonetically) pronounce you Charles and Katherine Henderson."

Compact Disc: "01011100110001011011010001111...."

"There's nothing wrong with your stereo. We just switched jobs. I'm now the tweeter and he's the woofer."

"It's another one of our neighbors calling to complain. I think your sound bar may be working a little too well."

'Magazine, yes. Book, maybe. Musical dance - never in a million!'

Boom Box

'Whom should I call first? 911 or the audio technician?'

'Pavlov, dear, either we get rid of the dog, or get a phone with a different ring tone!'

The Wompa Wompa Wompa sound CD.

'I pimped your sound-system.'

"It looks like the loud noises are coming from a sound system Dad, presumably set up to stop us from eating the grapes..."

Little Jimmy Harmon: first to amplify the sparerib

'The acoustics in here are fantastic!'

Moving van unloading huge speakers.