Sound Effects Aficionado T-Shirts

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Artist and Musician

My other cello is a Stradivari

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

"You know damn well what noise!"

"Come up and purr in her other ear... she likes the surround sound."

"Ding" "Dong"

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

Some musicians discovering a noise from a boiling kettle

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

The Gong

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

Older and wiser

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

'Please. Don't get me started.'

'Good resume - although the special effects seem a little over-the-top.'

'Your parrot is driving me crazy.'

Musical Accidents

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"

'Oh please, you can tell they're using a stunt gummy.'

"Ahh, if I'm not much mistaken. The sound of a Lawn Chief 420. Fitted with a 3.5 horse power, Briggs and Stratton engine. Electronic ignition, variable valve timing and a 55 litre grass box. Mmm don't you just love our Sunday mornings dear?"

"Congratulations, I now (phonetically) pronounce you Charles and Katherine Henderson."

"Let me through - I'm a Sound Recordist!"

'Get rid of those shoes, or I will never jog with you again.'

'Pavlov, dear, either we get rid of the dog, or get a phone with a different ring tone!'

"Buster's coming out."

"There is nothing wrong with our sound levels!!" "Can you speak up a bit? We can�t hear a word your saying..."